As soon as I saw ‘A Different Way’ (ADW) mentioned in Manna Matters, I knew it was the closest thing to a perfect fit for me. After five years working in journalism and seven years in teaching, in 2023 I had taken a year-long sabbatical to reconsider my place and purpose in the world, and to reconcile the nagging feeling of unease with how I was acting: I wanted to live differently but didn’t think it was possible.
During that year my world was blown wide open as I discovered so many examples of different ways: Dorothy Day, voluntary simplicity, Ngatiawa River Monastery, Dave Andrews, and some bloke called Jonathan Cornford. I came away from that time with a commitment to live a simple life dedicated to the service of others.
Every day since then, I have relearnt how difficult this is to do whilst still living in mainstream society. The pull back to ‘normality’ is hard to fight unless you are surrounded by like-minded people. This is why I jumped at the chance to be part of ADW.
The pull back to ‘normality’ is hard to fight unless you are surrounded by like-minded people. This is why I jumped at the chance to be part of ADW.
I had studied Jonathan’s book Coming Home with a book discussion group, so had already been exposed to many of the themes covered during ADW. However, I think my understanding was deepened and broadened during the week: we looked at each theme from multiple angles, including a hands-on activity that allowed us to put our values and ideas into practice. Standing side-by-side with someone chopping up branches for compost, digging a garden bed, or picking berries allowed conversation to bubble up, meander, and flow down paths sparked by our learning but perhaps in a way that was unexpected. One take-away is that there are many different ways to live in a different way — definitely not one size fits all!
I must admit that I was apprehensive before coming to ADW. I describe myself as an atheist sort-of-Quaker who tries to follow the radical way of Jesus the teacher, not a Christian in the usual sense of the word. I wondered: is it the right place for me? Am I crashing someone else’s party?
But the group was enthusiastically welcoming, diverse, and focused on shared values whilst learning from differences. It was refreshing to be with people who didn’t question my life decisions and morals, where I didn’t have to make a calculation of what aspects of myself to hide to be socially acceptable. Our group and all the Seeds community members we met didn’t hold back their generosity: it was natural, authentic, and given without grumbles or hesitation. There were also bucketloads of joy — who knew that talking about climate change would be so much fun and so funny!?
One take-away is that there are many different ways to live in a different way — definitely not one size fits all!
It’s hard to reflect on what ADW has changed within me and how I live, because it’s one more step in my ongoing journey; one more reorientation towards and refocusing on the life I want to live and the person I want to be.
I have decided that it’s time to shift my focus to relationships, people, and community, as opposed to grand ideas and big projects. Recently, I moved into a neighbourhood close to friends who share my vision for communal living, and it is exciting to be on the cusp of putting some of what I saw and experienced in the Seeds community into action.
Part of a song we sang regularly during ADW connected straight to my heart when I think about work that prioritises relationships and connection over achieving outcomes: ‘Our work is slow and humble, and the world does not give its praise’. Yes, tangible changes and goals also need to be achieved in our world to raise up the marginalised, but ADW reminded me that we must not forget the joy, meaning, and goodness (what some might call holiness) that comes with generously giving of our whole self to the people whose life paths cross ours.
Bernadette is able to feed her cat because she works as a high-school teacher in west Melbourne, but she also fills her time with learning Auslan, community gardening, volunteering with bushwalking organisations, and working towards getting an intentional community off the ground. She is part of Melbourne’s Quaker community and is particularly active in getting younger people more involved in Quakerism and in guiding others towards lives that align with their values.